Lynne Truss
- Eats, Shoots & Leaves - The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air. "Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. "I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up." The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation. "Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."
Hart of Dixie - Wade Kinsella
- "If It Makes You Happy"
Sometimes I think you are just the saddest person in the world. You're always looking over your shoulder wondering what life should be, instead of taking it for what it is. You're not honest about what makes you happy... Clearly, something about every one of those choices makes you happy. The problem is, they don't match up with the picture you have in your head about what your life should be... You wanna be happy, Doc? Change your picture. Or change your life. Good night.
