Undyne The Undying - Toby Fox - Undertale

This quote was added by ltshine
My body - it feels like it's splitting apart. Like any instant, I'll scatter into a million pieces. But deep in my soul there's a burning feeling I can't describe; a burning feeling that won't let me die. This isn't just about monsters anymore, is it? If you get past me, you'll - you'll destroy them all, won't you? Everyone; everyone's hopes; everyone's dreams - vanquished in an instant. But I won't let you do that. Right now, everyone in the world - I can feel their hearts beating as one.

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kiriiya 3 years, 3 months ago
So he fixed it by putting hyphens where there should be em dashes.
weesin 5 years, 4 months ago
I would suggest using commas for shorter and/or less significant pauses and dashes for longer and/or more significant pauses. Do note though, that your use of ellipses is entirely appropriate for informal writing - I believe this boils down to whether or not a quote submitted on this site should be considered formal or informal (I personally lean toward the former)
ltshine 5 years, 4 months ago
How should I correct this weesin? They are used in the original quote to represent a significant pause but if there is an alternate that would be correct and that conveys the same feeling I would be happy to change it. I actually though about it originally but a comma seemed to weak and a period seemed inappropriate.
weesin 5 years, 4 months ago
you are correct to a certain extent - ellipses can be used outside of their typical syntax in very informal writing, but I don't believe that a quote on a public typing site could be considered informal (I think that's more texts, or snapchats)
endvisible 5 years, 4 months ago
@weesin Ellipses can also be used outside of their typical syntax to replicate pauses, especially during dialogue. Plus, this comes from a game in which the lines have ellipses, so this counts as a (sic) as well.
weesin 5 years, 4 months ago
incorrect use of ellipses

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