Taylor Mali
- "What Teachers Make"
He says the problem with teachers is... What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher? He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about teachers: Those who can, do; those who can't, teach. I decide to bite my tongue instead of his and resist the temptation to remind the dinner guests that it's also true what they say about lawyers.
Dwight Schrute - The Office
I have been Michael's number two guy for about five years, and we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams. He's like Mozart and I'm like Mozart's friend. No, I'm like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart, you're gonna get a bullet in your head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy.
Dwight Schrute - The Office
In the wild, there is no health care. In the wild, health care is, "Ow, I hurt my leg. I can't run. A lion eats me and I'm dead." Well, I'm not dead. I'm the lion, you're dead.
Michael Scott - The Office
I'm friends with everybody in this office. We're all best friends. I love everybody here. But sometimes, your best friends start coming into work late and start having dentist appointments that aren't dentist appointments, and that is when it's nice to let them know that you could beat them up.
