Dwight Schrute - The Office
- Dwight's Perfect Crime
What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning, the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold.
Sheldon - The Big Bang Theory
- Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock
It's very simple. Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and - as it always has - rock crushes scissors.
Community - 2x21 "Paradigms of Human Memory"
- Jeff Winger Speech
We've known each other for almost two years now. And yeah, in that time, I've given a lot of speeches. But they all have one thing in common: They're all different. These drug runners aren't going to execute Pierce because he's racist! It's a locomotive that runs on us. And the only sharks in that water, are the emotional ghosts that I like to call fear, anchovies, fear and the dangers of ingesting mercury!
