Title: Optional

Text: Listen to me, kid. I just lost my house to foreclosure because I took a bath in the market. We're now living with my in-laws, which is two bedrooms shy of unpleasant. My wife won't take birth control pills because the pope said if she did God would cry, so I'm not having any sex. So if there's any chance that I could live vicariously through you, it's literally all I got. Each paragraph will be a test.

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