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unknown
Brother ew! What’s that?

unknown
Nice quote! Are you 'unknown'?

Mike Matei
Next time somebody asks what am I doing in the bathroom, I am going to …

Tyler Durden
I think this is a perfect addition to my music and coffee while I wait …

Anonymous
You have issues, get help if you cannot fix it yourself.

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Rudy Franciso - Mercy
She asked me to kill the spider. Instead, I get the most peaceful weapons I can find. I take a cup and a napkin, I catch the spider, put it outside and allow it to walk away. If I am ever caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, just being alive and not bothering anyone, I hope I am greeted with the same kind of mercy.

Mitch Hedberg - Juggling Friend
I have a friend who is a juggler. If I'm at his house, I don't like to take food from him if it's in threes. He has three apples left, I guess I can't have one. I wouldn't want to screw up his practice routine!