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G.K. Chesterton
CAPPP

Stan Berkowitz and Darwyn Cooke
bro, PROOF READ

Unknown
LOL that funny

kjjjjjjj
Did you forget to edit out the last sentence lmao

Fuller
*possession* should be the word. a type error.

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mad410's citations

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A concerned citizen - WHY CAN'T THE USA JUST GET THEIR SHIT TOGETHER?
Everyone, black, white, male, female, child, adult, is at an equal level. A woman could be at the very height of academic renown but be oblivious of seemingly inconsequential things that could, in fact, change perspective dramatically, small things that only a little girl in the chair next to him notices. A man could be a brilliant strategist, but be severely deprived of morals that even the smallest child possesses. WE'RE AMERICANS! THE MOST DIVERSE PEOPLE ON EARTH! LET'S GET OUR SHIT TOGETHER!

Mr. Bartholomew Bean - The Power of Beans
"Beans, beans, the magical fruit : The more you eat, the more you POOP." Behold, the slogan of the popular laxative brand : Big Beans. Founded by yours truly, Bartholomew Bean, it outpaces Prim Prune by $2 million in sales. It comes in approximately 400 flavors and is extremely easy to implement in meals. If you have constipation, trust Big Beans rather than those disgusting chocolate laxatives. Happy Beaning!

some random dude - flatten the curve
Hey dude, you shouldn't be touching your face. Flatten the curve, you know." "WHO ARE TA YOU TELL ME WHAT TU DO? YOU AIN'T MAH MOMMA! SCREW OFF, DUDE!

some random dude - Istanbul (Not Costantinople)
Istanbul was Constantinople Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople Been a long time gone, Oh Constantinople Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night Every gal in Constantinople Lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople So if you've a date in Constantinople She'll be waiting in Istanbul Even old New York was once New Amsterdam Why they changed it I can't say People just liked it better that way hey look that's a knife from the 90's this kid used it to kill someone. Huh. Weird.