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Brother ew! What’s that?

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Nice quote! Are you 'unknown'?

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Bill Bryson - Einstein's Universe
In essence what relativity says is that space and time are not absolute, but relative to both the observer and to the thing being observed, and the faster one moves the more pronounced these effects become. We can never accelerate ourselves to the speed of light, and the harder we try (and faster we go) the more distorted we will become, relative to an outside observer.