Guy Fieri
- Kung Pao Penis
I walk into Panda Express, ecstatic to order my usual. The Kung Pao Penis plate. I grow impatient, standing in the line for what feels like hours upon hours. I tell the Chinese worker my order, and she replies with a mixed tongue of Mandarin and English, but mostly incomprehensible. My mouth begins to water as I watch her, almost in slow motion, scoop the Kung Pao Penis onto the thick layer of fried rice. As I fill my mouth with Kung Pao Penis, I scream with ecstasy, "TAKE ME TO FLAVOR TOWN!!"
