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Henry Rollins
You. Yes, you. Go get some sleep.

Jessica Nite
Bro, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take a break every once in a while. If your wrist …

Albert Einstein
I don't even know how to type the ² in the test as copy paste …

Alexia Orozco
De acuerdo.

RightClickMan
Nice, m'kay!

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beepboopbleep's quotes

All quotes

oppenheimer
Vishnu is trying to persuade the Prince that he should do his duty, and to impress him takes on his multi-armed form and says, Now, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds. I suppose we all thought that one way or another.

edith
Despite being in the triple digits now, she was entirely self-sufficient. She trembled about her house in a daily battle with gravity, drinking Dr. Pepper and chain-smoking cigarettes as if to mock whatever otherworldly force was keeping her alive.

Our Flag Means Death
What we're about to do will be perilous! Very perilous! Some of us won't be coming back. Others may be wounded. Still others may come back looking totally fine... but in reality, be mentally devastated by what they've witnessed.

Severance
My mother was an atheist. She used to say there was good news and bad news about hell. The good news is, hell is just a product of a morbid human imagination. The bad news is, whatever humans can imagine, they can usually create.

Good Omens
And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the eastern gate, saying "Where is the flaming sword that was given unto thee?" And the Angel said, "I had it here only a moment ago, I must have put it down some where, forget my own head next." And the Lord did not ask him again.

Franz Kafka is Dead
Franz Kafka is dead. He died in a tree from which he wouldn't come down. "Come down!" they cried to him. "Come down! Come down!" Silence filled the night, and the night filled the silence, while they waited for Kafka to speak. "I can't," he finally said, with a note of wistfulness. "Why?" they cried. Stars spilled across the black sky. "Because then you'll stop asking for me."

Mark Twain - Tom Sawyer
He had besides the things before mentioned, twelve marbles, part of a jews-harp, a piece of blue bottle-glass to look through, a spool cannon, a key that wouldn't unlock anything, a fragment of chalk, a glass stopper of a decanter, a tin soldier, a couple of tadpoles, six firecrackers, a kitten with only one eye, a brass doorknob, a dog collar - but no dog - the handle of a knife, four pieces of orange peel, and a dilapidated old window sash.

What We Do In The Shadows
How best to describe Nandor? I would say he's blessedly unburdened with the complications of a university education, but give him an ax and he's second to none. Though you wouldn't want him as your barrister.

Blythe Baird - Skirt Steak Girls
It is the dilemma of the woman who wishes to be heard. Let us give you this reality check with a spoonful of sugar. Let us make this easier for you to hear than it is for us to live.

Percy Bysshe Shelley
On the pedestal, these words appear: 'My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!' Nothing beside remains. Round the decay of that colossal Wreck, boundless and bare, the lone and level sands stretch far away.

P. B. Shelley - Ozymandias
Near them, on the sand, half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown and wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command, tell that its sculptor well those passions read. Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things.

Mitski
And I am the idiot with a painted face in the corner, taking up space; but when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved. Me and my husband, we are doing better. It's always been just him and me together.

jack stauber - rain
See, the rain is nice, but I don't really like getting wet. Wait, what in the world? No, I went under the awning. Why is it still raining? That's not fair...

John Mulaney - Sleepover
You're like the kid at the sleepover who, after midnight, is like, "It's tomorrow now." Get out of here with your technicalities. Just because you're accurate doesn't mean you're interesting.

John Mulaney - 13-year-olds
13-year-olds are the meanest people in the world. They terrify me to this day. Because 8th graders will make fun of you but in an accurate way. They will get to the thing that you don't like about you.

John Mulaney - Supposed to be Gay
When I was a little boy, I was like a 67-year-old gay man who's kind of over it sexually, y'know? I was just like an old queen. I would come out to the recess yard and I'd be like, "Everyone get out of my way. I just want to sit here and feed my birds."

David Rose - Schitts Creek
It's just one long string of really bad luck, and I don't know what kind of carnage I inflicted in my past life to deserve it. I must have been Dracula or a spin instructor or something.

Alexis Rose - Schitts Creek
As if I didn't see this coming. He's broken up with me five times already. Like, there was that time that he never met me in Rio. And remember that time when he gave me his ex-wife's engagement ring? And then there was that time last summer when he left his molly in my glove compartment and then I got arrested.

David Rose - Schitts Creek
Um, I do drink red wine, but I also drink white wine... And I've been known to sample the occasional rose. And a couple of summers back, I tried a merlot that used to be a chardonnay, which got a bit complicated. I like the wine, not the label.

Moira Rose - Schitts Creek
Oh, Stevie, Stevie. You have years ahead of you still to collect a cartage of adoring mourners. In the meantime, they will laugh in your face and they'll stab you in the back, but the moment you give up the ghost, oh, they'll all have nothing but nice things to say about you. I know I will.